As a family we have had a string of terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. Okay, maybe that's being a bit dramatic, all things now perfectly into perspective, but event by event we were feeling crushed. I've been mentally writing this post for two weeks now and yet I still find myself struggling for words. Backing up a bit, chicken pox were just the tip of the iceberg and as easy to take as candy compared to April 2nd.
Raised bed gardening was on the agenda for Saturday, April 2nd. My husband was building the beds with my supervision, ahem. The girls were playing in the backyard with the new croquet set I got at the thrift store. Ava decided to swing, Kellsey offered to push, and then the blur began. Ava was on the ground and Kellsey looked confused and horrified. Ava's arm didn't look right...it was definately broken, z-shaped broken, nausea swept over me. I scooped her up in my arms only to turn around and have my husband take her from me and set her down. I began praying aloud while my husband talked to my sweet Ava about what the plan was. My thoughts were screaming get her to the truck before she feels this pain while shock is still in control. My husband, the trained responder,took over the situation and carried her to the truck while I gathered cell phones and wallets to go to the hospital. We prayed on the way, I sang to her, remarkably she remained calm. Arriving at the hospital brought my husband and I to tears. Like handing off the baton we were no longer in charge, thankfully. As quickly as we arrived they checked us in and got Ava comfortable and began x-rays and ivs. The staff was amazed that Ava wasn't hysterical or crying or needing to be held down for the iv, she was irritated that her arm was broken and clearly uncomfortable but was handling it with deep breathing and the occassional sigh. When the nurses would ask her how she was she would respond, "Good." Good? Who taught her to lie like that? She wasn't good she was broken and I was dying inside because of it. I encouraged her that it was going to be okay and that it was okay if she felt like crying or screaming or whatever, we could handle it. The strength she exhibited pressed into me deeply, suffocating me in my own fears. It was almost as if her cry or even a muttered "ouch" would pop this balloon of chaos around me. Finally pain meds were administered and the plan was in motion wheeling her into an operating room to set the bones under sedation. Prayers, kisses, hugs, see ya laters, and she rolled down the hall with our new surgical friends, still stronger than us parents with tear stained faces.
Events kept replaying in my head as I headed to the waiting room. Kellsey's face etched in my memory was as painful to me as the image of Ava's z-shaped arm. I called home to comfort Kels and to give and update. I sent a picture of the x-ray to my parents, sisters, and best friend from my phone along with the explanation that it was being set under sedation and further updates would follow. A quick trip through the gift shop to purchase a book on bravery and anything horse that would bring a smile to Ava's face before being taken to the recovery room to stand and watch Ava sleep. Slowly she opened her eyes and woke up feeling "good" ...still. Vitals were good, pain was managed, she could start the discharge process. We were heading home with pain killers, anti-nausea drugs, and strict orders to keep her arm elevated and follow up with the orthopedic.
The drive home I was numb, watching cars go about their business, passing houses with families working out in the yard, kids riding their bikes and swinging on swingsets. Didn't they know that the previous four hours were earth shaking? Somehow, the world kept turning and life moved on all around us. How many times has someone looked at me going about my business on a good day and wondered those same thoughts as they were dealing with their own personal trial? I couldn't help but think about Kate and her parents and the emotions that run over them daily as they battle cancer. I felt like I'd been hit by a car and my daughter only broke her arm, thankful to have limited experience with lifes' afflictions.
Fifteen days out and looking back on those events I still feel the chaos of emotions if I think about the details. When looking on the event as a whole it seems a lot easier to digest because I've seen and felt the nausea calm, the stress reduce, the pain meds cease, the swelling go down, sleep return without supervision, and left handed drawings that are every bit as good as the right handed drawings. A quick trip to the orthopedic and the view of a current(well set) arm in an x-ray help tremendously.
Just when you think it's over a few more bumps like a 9yr old with mono, a husband with a painful low back and neck were taken in stride until an x-ray left us wondering if said husband had a life threatening issue. Tears, hard talks, ultrasound, and a few days later we are informed at the end of a long day that the x-ray was c o m p l e t e l y misread. Completely. Were we lucky or unlucky? Perhaps both. Hopefully, better for it. Regardless, life goes on.
Blessings
